Even if being in a big crowd ,u may feel the loneliness inside your body. Around the friends, family, class , in the concert, room , while walking on the street , having dinner, breakfast… The feeling of emptiness rots you from head to toe. Just pure, dark and infinite pain. You are an ufo unlike the rest of the world. Undefined, stranger, unknown and not even this world. It makes you feel like you are not even human. You are in deep , deep , deep , deep , in the deepest point on the Pacific Ocean; with many creature which are undefined and still no named. Today we’ll take the art of loneliness in our own style on this text.
Deny: state that one refused to admit truth or existence of.
Loneliness occurs denying the existence of feeling of you are not alone. You refuse to other people around you and think about the idea of everything, everyone against me and I am the wrong one , all the time. After a while , you start to believe this truth. You are denying that you have people. And it’s occurs self destruction.
Self destruction is one of the most misunderstood terms. Generally people believes that it’s includes only harmful actions ,such as cutting yourself ,but this is so missing. There are many kinds of destructive behaviors you may do. For instance, alcohol, drug addiction, casual sex, ironically avoiding and escaping from other ones and antisocial behaviors. You grow your own loneliness by escaping from the other ones. Or taking refuge in the people you love, but cannot take an action back ,so because of this, you feel heartbroken , undefined, unacceptable, forgotten and unnecessary. Then you start to looking for interest from the others. The bad ones, the using you and after that will throw you away immediately in a garbage, ones. The most painful part , you absolutely know the things will and already happened , but how painful the feeling of loneliness even if you know, you can’t stand to live like this just for a second and begging for love by making your face heartless and hanging out with the bad ones by crying inside. Most of people have sex with them , but do not show any emotion because of the self defense mechanism which is provides the idea of you are lonely , no one will accept you ,so do not look heartbroken and emotional because if they understands , they will destroy you.
Evangelion: In the 1995’s Neon Genesis Evangelion, loneliness is traps all of the characters and it’s reflects that their actions. Every character makes his own self destruction his own way. Shinji, makes Eva plotting even it hurts him psychologically and physically because he only forgets his loneliness and feel accepted while plotting Eva . Misato hooks up and she’s addicted to the alcohol. However, Asuka is the one of the most complex characters of the series because she denying that she’s need to anyone and she act narcissistic in her every action and she feels only anger. Only anger. She has a bound with Kaji ,who is a father figure for Asuka, she begs for interest from Kaji ,so she starts to sexualize herself to Kaji. Whenever Kaji says that she’s just a kid for him , she feels anger because she thinks that she unwanted an unaccepted. For entire series, Asuka and Shinji are totally have different actions from each other. Shinji is introverted, depressed, shy, emotional and sensitive. Asuka is extroverted, narcissistic, angry and she thinks that she hasn’t need to anyone. However, they are only come together in feeling of loneliness and unacceptance. For every episode Asuka always shows the biggest anger to Shinji because of the love interest for him. She increases to this anger day by day because even if she tries her own bounding style she cannot take a feedback from him. In the following chapters, she loses bound even with her Eva robot ,which is only thing she can feel connected. And she takes mental breakdown and climax. But even if every character has differences, their common point is loneliness and holding a thing for feeling less lonely.
Random shi 